Saturday, July 9, 2011

Want to win my entire backlist? Here's How.

So I'm one of those people who gets really excited about milestones, even those that may or may not be a big deal to other people. With the release of Out of Focus on August 2nd, I'll be reaching a significant-to-me milestone in my career:

The release of my 20th book.

Seven as Lauren Gallagher, thirteen as L. A. Witt.

20 books. Holy Ned.

It's kind of a big deal for me, so, naturally, I need to do something to mark the occasion. By “do something”, I mean give away some books. In fact, I think I should give away a lot of books.

Here’s how it’s going to work:

1. Leave a comment containing your name, some way for me to contact you if you win, and the most outlandish, off-the-wall reason why I should pick you.

Get creative here, folks! Tell me you should win because your goldfish wears mismatched Birkenstocks, you have a complete set of coasters made out of Nobel Prize medallions, and you can belch the Sanskrit alphabet. The weirder the better.

2. There will be two types of winners:

a. Funniest comment

b. Random drawing

3. The more comments, the bigger the prize.

a. Prize for the Funniest Comment:

If the contest gets to 20 comments, the winner receives 1 ebook

40 comments – 2 ebooks

60 comments – 4 ebooks & 1 signed paperback

80 comments – 6 ebooks & 1 signed paperback

100 comments – 10 ebooks & 2 signed paperbacks

200 comments – 1 electronic copy of every book on my backlist

(including a short story anthology, for a total of 21 ebooks),

plus your choice of 3 signed paperbacks.

b. Prizes for the Random Drawing:

If the contest gets to 20 comments, the winner receives 1 ebook

40 comments – the winner wins 2 ebooks

60 comments – the winner wins 3 ebooks & a signed paperback

80 comments – 2 winners each win 4 ebooks & a signed paperback

100 comments – 2 winners each win 5 ebooks, 2 signed paperback

200 comments – 1 electronic copy of every book on my backlist

(including the short story anthology, for a total of 21 ebooks)

plus your choice of 3 signed paperbacks.


1. Only legitimate, non-anonymous comments count, meaning there’s a name and valid e-mail address in the body of the comment. Putting Anonymous for your Blogger username is fine, but there must be a name and contact info in the body of the comment.

2. One comment per entrant; multiple entries will disqualify all of your entries.

3. Contest closes at midnight, August 5th, 2011 (Eastern time), and winners will be announced shortly thereafter. Winners will be posted on Twitter and this blog, and will be individually e-mailed. If you are selected, you have 72 hours to contact me or forfeit your prize. (If you will be unreachable via e-mail around the time of the drawing, mention that in your comment)

4. All prizes will be winner’s choice titles off my backlist, including Out of Focus; please note not all titles are available in paperback at this time, and choices will be restricted to currently available titles only. For the most up to date list of currently available titles, please visit the Books by L. A. and Books by Lauren on my website.

5. Number of winners is not cumulative. Meaning, if I reach eighty comments, there will be two winners randomly drawn plus the winner for best comment. I reserve the right to increase the number of prizes and/or winners at my discretion.

Now go forth and comment! And be sure to spread the word about the contest, because the more people who enter, the bigger the prizes.

Good luck, and thank you
to my publishers and my readers
for making this the most awesome job ever.


  1. Kelley Steinruck... you know how the f*** to contact me... BURPEES... Need I say more?? Plus I'm the first to respond... So there. I win.

  2. This is all the reason you need from me.

    Mittens, my dear. Black leather and mittens.

  3. I have to win because I can't afford to buy your books. That means I have to take out a loan. But the interest rates are so high that I can't pay them. The bank will take away my house and I have to live on the street. So that's why I need to win, to spare me all that :-)

  4. I need to win because even though I spent last night with ten men in my bed I am unsatisfied...they might have been fictional men but still I need help...please give me books enough to satisfy me. =)

  5. I need to win your books b/c 12 years ago I had a salivary gland removed. Reading all your hot sexy books is sure to help make me drool! If you pick me you can call yourself a doctor!

    jacobjunk @ verizon dot net

  6. I should win because I've been to all 48 contiguous states and had sex in 23 of them. One of those times was in a cave (South Dakota, if it matters).

  7. I need to win because I'm stuck at home all day this summer with only my one-eyed cat for company. She's started cursing at me. I think we need a break from each other.

  8. Because one of my twins was painting the walls with a lovely orange crayon this morning, the other was throwing toilet paper rolls into the water-filled bathtub, and our kung-fu hamster masterfully escaped her cage and we still can't find her. She probably has an evil underground lair somewhere under the sofa. To top it off I swear, I found some extra grey hair on my head just now >.<

    This really did happen, by the way. I'm so ready to get myself committed!

    Erica Pike:

  9. I should win because.. well because I want to. I mean really does there need to be another reason. :)

    Plus I am a 30 something woman who is excited to see the final Harry Potter tonight and was even more excite when her husband brought home Harry Potter shaped 3D glasses and the entire set of Smurf movie buttons home from work.


  10. I must win because I've only owned my Nook for 6 mos, I already own so many books I'll never be able to read them all (2,000+ and increasing every day) much less your 20 that I'll be adding and yet my voracious, all-consuming need to read and own every good book ever written won't allow me to stop acquiring books at an insane rate ;-) Don't you want to feed my addiction??

    Congrats on reaching your milestone of 20 books - that's awesome! And thanks for the giveaway :-)

    smaccall AT

  11. I deserve to win for several reasons
    1-I discovered gay porn while attending Bible College.
    2-I bought a $150 computer chair and I can't sit in without my back hurting.
    C-I own a Pomeranian named Cujo.

    Ethan Stone

  12. I should win because my dog has a huge bald spot so I can't take him out in public and if I stay inside I can only watch the American government join Florida juries lose their heads up their a@@ so I need something to read.


  13. All of the prior commenters have very good reasons why they should win your books. I will now add mine to the list for your considerstion.
    First, I am broke. I know, it is a common theme.
    Second, reading books keeps me from watching the crap on tv. A bad book is better than mediocre tv any day of the week.
    Third, I love to read. My kids make fun of me. My friends are sick of hearing about what I am currently reading. Yes, I want to win so I can annoy my friends and family by talking about your books.
    Fourth, I have decided that I want to write book reviews. To that end, I have been posting reviews on Goodreads of everything I read. I hope to get to the point that I am reviewing a book a day until I get through everything I am currently reading and have read in the past 3 years. Practice makes perfect, they say (I don't know who they is, but they make sense to me). So, if I win, I will review your books.
    Fifth, and I think finally, I would love to have the chance to read all of your books. This would go a good long way toward making that happen. I recently decided to read all of Karen Rose’s books so I would read one, then take a book break, read the next and so on. Now I am all caught up and I had an awesome reading month. I think the same would be true with your books.
    Those are my humble reasons. If I don’t win the creativity award then maybe the universe will shine on me and will show me some love!
    Thanks for a great contest. I hope you get passels of comments (and no, it is not totally selfish!).
    Jen B.

  14. Congratulations on your milestone! (note, the sucking up here).

    I should win because I was the owner of the smartest dog in the world - she was a border collie and when I told her the results of doggie IQ tests published in the paper naming her the winner, she ran up to me in glee, slid on the hardwood floor, flipped over backards and hit her head on the door jamb. Seriously. Smartest. Dog. In. The. World.

    My current dog just likes to hump things. (he's a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel crossed with a poodle, so I think he's just living up to his breed - a true "Restoration" dog).

    So, that's why I should win.

    hankts AT internode DOT on DOT net

  15. I should win because after I go married I now have 7 kids (all live with us), 4 dogs, 3 cats (plus some extras that don't understand they need to go home LOL) and a bunch of fish and a few turtles. My oldest daughter is 18, thinks she is an adult but still made me help her pick out her college classes, and school shopping. OH college classes were painful. Then comes my 17 year old daughter who thinks she knows everything. She just does not get why the 25 yr old she wants to date is just too old. Oh am I going to survive teenage angst... NOPE because next is my husbands son, 15. OMG is he testing us. Depending on the day I am "mom", "you're not my mom" or "Tammy". His mom does not make it easier when she gives in to him. He barely got a D in school and his mom gave him a laptop. Hello why not just tell him he can flunk out. She drives me crazy! Next is complicated. When my husband was previously married he adopted his ex-wife's son and daughter when they were babies. So the next child is his adopted daughter who is 14. She is right in the beginning of teenage drama times 10! Then is his adopted son who is 9 but is handicapped and acts about 5 or 6. His mom does not teach him anything so it's hard. Recently he through a brick at my youngest and she barely blinked. Last is my youngest at 4 going on 30. If there is trouble he is there. Came out one day and he, the dogs and the cats were eating....everything from the frig. OMG the mess. The other day he decided to make mud castles on the day we were going to a wedding...we were late. If I were a better writer I could make a fortune with the stories that come out of my family. My husbands ex grew up with the family so is still really close to his entire family so it gets interesting in some of the dealings.

    PLEASE PLEASE I NEED AN ESCAPE LET ME WIN!! I think I should win so I can stay SANE!!! LMAO

    all complaining aside I love my family, crazy and all. I would love to win!

  16. I would love to win this contest. What a great prize. I should win because I am willing to email you every day for as many months as book that you are the best writer not only in the world but in the UNIVERSE. LOL I have no problem kissing up. LOL
    Thank you! Terri (

  17. HMMM well I think I should win because I just bought my nook, after my daughter forced me to! I have like maynbe 20 books so I need them. :-)

  18. Why I should win.... I worked for the last five nights 24/7 watching the 4 yr old twins I nanny for and their 12 yr old brother so the parents could take their oldest daughter to Maine for Soccer camp and take a vacation while they were waiting for the camp to end. The brother had tons of sports he had to be to throughout the day. Normally this would not matter but it was ONLY ME! One night I had to take the twins out at 1030 to pick him up because his ride fell through. OMG I had a taste of single motherhood. I send out a heart felt hug to all those that are single moms. It was so much harder than I thought. Then tonight when the twins knew that the parent would be getting home (cause stupid me told them they would be back late Wednesday night, I should have just said in the morning since they would be asleep). They had a million excuses as to why they could not sleep. Emma said she couldn't sleep alone, Liam needed more to drink, and more to drink, then had to go to the bathroom. Then emma was bad she already had plenty of dinner. I put them to bed at 830 and still heard them around 1030. OMG it was a LONG day.
    So I should win so I have something to look forward to the next time I have to work 24/7, which is next month!!!!! Please save me and give me something to help with the stress!

  19. I would love to read your books. I would love to win. Why?! I keep trying to think of a really exciting interesting out of this world reason but I guess I am just not creative enough. This might just be the reason that I read the books and not write the books. LOL. So back to my reason why!? Please let me win so I can learn from the best writer so that I can answer these qusetions better. LOL

  20. WOW congrats and thanks for the contest. I hope you get enough responses to give away entire backlist. How cool.

    I should win because I just got engaged to a wonderful man that is willing to help me raise my three wonderful boys (ages 15-12-11). There father completely abandoned them and this man has stepped up and has been a great role model. He even goes to kungfu with my middle child for fathers night. Winning would be a cherry on top. I've had a few really hard years (he has been court ordered to NOT have to pay child support- yea crazy I know) with my ex and now I am so happy. I would love to win.
    Thanks Patti

  21. I just found your books and I love them. I would love to read more and I will but how cool would it be to be able to get them all at once and read them!! I think I should win because after two books I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE fan!!!!!!!!

  22. Hi I realized that everyone was leaving email so I copy and pasted my response below with my email at the end. Thanks and congrats on your achievement

    WOW congrats and thanks for the contest. I hope you get enough responses to give away entire backlist. How cool.

    I should win because I just got engaged to a wonderful man that is willing to help me raise my three wonderful boys (ages 15-12-11). There father completely abandoned them and this man has stepped up and has been a great role model. He even goes to kungfu with my middle child for fathers night. Winning would be a cherry on top. I've had a few really hard years (he has been court ordered to NOT have to pay child support- yea crazy I know) with my ex and now I am so happy. I would love to win.
    Thanks Patti

  23. Sam Crescent.

    It is morning and I'm feeling lucky :-)

    Great contest and congrats on so many releases. Looking forward to reading more of your work during Six sentence Sunday.


  24. Well, it's not outlandish because it's true, but it is outrageous...

    I was born on Halloween.
    I have Bride of Frankenstein hair (honestly, check my FB page!)
    I've worked at a cemetery for 12 years.
    I write vampire stories and the vampires own (wait for it)...a cemetery.
    Nuff said.

    And I like your work but sadly, haven't read a whole lot of it...yet.

    lex at lexvalentine dot com

  25. I have decided to go through the portal I accidentally opened up while having mind blowing sex with a Fae prince (I know, right?! who knew). Any way, he said I should bring some books to share with the Fae race. I thought I would give you the chance to expose them to your smexy work :)

  26. One word: Insomnia.

    I need SOMETHING to get me through that crap.

    You already have my email address. 'Gratz... twenty?!?


  27. Awesome contest idea, Lori! I'd love to win but I already have most of your backlist. :D Good luck to all who enter and keep those fingers flying, lady!

  28. Pick me because I hurt my toe the other day and I'm feeling sorry for myself so much it has to be contagious. can't you feel the burn of the self pity from here? doesn't it make you want to give me EVERY BOOK YOU EVER WROTE?

  29. oh yeah and my email is katerothwell at gmail. Does this count as another comment?

  30. Ilona
    I need to win them because my local library have run out of books for me to read.

    (BTW that is actually the truth as I now have to order books from their gateway service which sends books from all over Wales :D)

  31. Ilona

    I need to win these books because my local library has run out of books for me to read.

    (BTW, this is the literal truth. I have to order books through their Gateway system to get books from all over Wales)

  32. Judi Pech

    Hello! First of all thank you for this contest! And many congrats for your 20th book!! \o/

    *cough* Now, I feel I should win because my dog thinks She's a cat. not only that, That thinks she's a BOY...CAT. WHEN SHE'S A DOG! A GIRL DOG! lol...
    Seriously. She mounted my poor cat Ziggy. Though he's a lazy fat cat i suppose he could not run away and avoid being violated by my mistakenly GIRL dog. Oh the shame!
    Not only that she mounts all sorts of things just like a boy. oh... how did she ever go astray? but maybe if i had one of your books i could find the courage to lead her in the right direction! xD

    (Here is a picture. sorry for the poor quality. My camera phone sucks big time.)

    Sincerely, Judi

  33. Congrats on your 20th book!!! What a fun contest!

    You should pick me because a few of weeks ago I won tickets to 3 concerts and decided to take my daughter to them all. At the first concert, Rhianna, my treasured Kindle 3 that my hubby bought me for Christmas was stolen out of my truck when it got broken into. This was made worse because this is the famous Rhianna concerti n Dallas that got cancelled halfway through because of a freaking fire after having the opening act cancel and Rhianna start an hour late. In addition to my Kindle they stole my purse, and my daughter’s chi flat iron and caused a bunch of damage on my truck. To top it off they also stole the tickets to the other two concerts I won tickets to…Britney Spears with Nicki Minaj and Kesha. My daughter was devastated.

    Because I am such a book addict and can’t go without reading I resorted to "borrowing" my daughters Kindle 2 that she paid for with her own money!!! Except I now am only reading free books so I can save money to buy myself another new Kindle (and her a new flat iron – it was her birthday gift last year after all) because my daughter wants hers back bad!

    So…I should win so I can save the cost of all those books and get that much closer to getting my own Kindle (again) and give my daughter her Kindle back. Poor girl was completely traumatized after all, first by a fire at her first real concert, then my truck getting broken into and her chi flat iron getting stolen and not getting to go to the other two shows, then by me “borrowing” her Kindle. We both deserve some happiness to come out of this totally true story! I have the police report to prove it!!!!

    Maria (pronounced Mariah)
    mmafsmith at gmail dot com

  34. Hi!

    I think I should probably win because I want to challenge my computer to a staring contest. Having tons of books to read would ensure that I will not tear myself away from the computer and it would give me a big chance to win against the ninja-dragon-computer-with-armpit-lasers-and-eyebrow-tweezers. Please, don't let the computer win! I don't want my individual eyebrow hairs to be plucked one-by-one with tweezers by the ninja-dragon-computer.

    Much love and support,
    beatrice.g.tan [at] gmail [dot] com

  35. I'm throwing myself into the ring for your e-books--Why?
    1)I love m/m/f/f/anyone erotica/romance/suspense---my daughter and I share conversations and swap books back and forth on Kindle and other readers---
    2)I have a kinda reverse situation--I have lived in Virginia Beach for the last 23+years, and want to move to Seattle, where my oldest works at the Seattle Library . . .
    3)Because I enjoy your writing alot--it makes me laugh, cry, get horny (and I am 61, not as easy as it used to be!), and be very much entertained!!!!

    Here be me:

    Penny Crampton

  36. Okay, I need these books because an acquaintance just named his first born child Titus, and all I could think of is that some day in school, this poor kid's going to be called Tittie.


  37. I should win it because I love you, and because I can train my cat to lick your toes. She gives REALLY GOOD toe jobs.

  38. Here is why I should win: I REALLY want to. Is that good enough? See, I first discovered you on Absolute Write (which was also when I first discovered erotica). I saw all your posts and thought "I want to be like her." Not in any sort of creepy stalker "I'm going to marry a military guy, move to Seattle and follow you around way" but in a "I want an awesome career like her way" (less creepy?)

    Emily Cale

  39. Crikey, I want to win as I'm DownUnder! Down under here, down under there, down under tables... With ebooks I don't have to worry about volcanos erupting, ships sinking, swine flu, SARS or anything else that prevents DTB's from entering